Five Years Old!

I think one of the reasons it's taken me so long to get this post written, is that there is so much to say and so much of it is hard to put into words.

How can I adequately portray the complex personality of my, now five year old Ella? It just doesn't seem possible.

This will probably just be a hodge podge of thoughts

Ella is an amazing little girl. At times her thoughts show a depth that I wouldn't expect at her age. Lately she started asking about what happens when we die and got very sad about being in heaven without mom and dad. I reassured her that we would all be together (while heading my own tears at the thought of being apart from her) while being surprised that this thoughts are swirling around in her brain. Soon after that she asked if this (referring to everything around her) was "all a dream"? Wow! I remember have those types of thoughts - but definitely not at five!

She does very well in school. I was in her class last week for her birthday and her teachers had such nice things to say about her. They told me that she was very mature and often helped the other kids in the class, but was kind, not bossy. I have to hold onto those thoughts when my mature little girl comes this close to a meltdown because she can't have stuffed crust pizza for dinner (darn you Matt, getting her hooked on that horrible Pizza Hut pizza).

At her birthday party Saturday night one of the moms from preschool told me that she described Ella to her husband as one of the popular kids in class who is nice to everyone and plays with everyone. Of course we all want to hear that our kids are liked, but liked for the right reasons. I pray she can hold on to that and always be someone who is kind and friendly and not clicky (believe me, it starts in preschool!). I pray that she can be strong in who she is and not feel the pressure to conform and be like those around her.

Ella is very creative. She loves to draw and sing. When she sings sometimes she makes me copy down the words to her songs. While they don't make a lot of sense, she does have an ability for just putting her thoughts out there. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a songwriter someday! Also, sometimes when she sings, she's really singing. In the type of voice you might hear on stage (not comparing it quality wise, but that's the way she's singing - make sense?). Her friend's mom remarked on it after Ella had been over for a day - even suggesting that at some point we could consider voice lessons. As someone who was not blessed with musical abilities I am excited that Ella takes after her dad and not me!

Ella is very loyal and very attached to people and her special "things". Recently Catherine lost her most special blankie that she'd had since she was a baby. It was when we were away for Thanksgiving and it seemed to disappear into thin air. Catherine was sad the first night we got back, but then I took her to Carters and we picked out a replacement. She happily snuggled up with it and told people "I got a new soft blankie because my old one is lost forever." I was shocked. This was a blankie that was a comfort to Catherine all the time and I didn't think she'd get over it so easily. Ella, on the other hand, knew for a fact that she wouldn't have. She told me "I wouldn't have handled it so well". She tells me that she never wants to lose her blankie - I think she'll be like her mom and bring it to college with her.

She loves her family so much. We're the ones she is the most difficult with, but, while I don't like it, I know it's because she feels secure in our love that she can let it all hang out. And boy does she. Ella has a temper and she has developed an attitude that can drive me to the edge of my rope. It seems like every few weeks she gets into a mood and I'm not sure if we'll both make it through the day. If a study ever comes out showing that kids can have some sort of PMS (ok, not the PM part, but just the grumpiness) I will not be surprised.

Her and Catherine are best buds. They also fight like cats and dogs, but I guess that comes with the territory. It never fails to warm my heart when they greet each other after school with hugs and smiles. Since I never had a sister I love to see the bond between them. I know they'll have a tough road ahead of them at times, but I pray that their love for each other only grows stronger as they get older.

Ella can be a challenge, but when she's have fun it's infectious! Her laugh and smile just light up a room. Sometimes I'll do silly things just to hear her laugh and see her smile. When she's having fun she has endless amounts of energy. If not, she tires out suspiciously quickly.

Ella is my snuggler. Every morning she wakes up and comes into bed and snuggles up next to me. For the first ten minutes or so she lays still and I love the feeling of have her next to me. But then she starts to wiggle and my arm falls asleep and it's time to wake up. Ella never passes up a chance for a snuggle or a hug. The other morning I was trying to get her to give me a hug before we both got out of bed and she was staying to the side of me trying to put her arms around my neck. I grabbed her and pulled her over and gave her a real hug and she said "I didn't think I could do that now that I'm five!" Break my heart! I told her she's always my baby and is never to old for snuggle hugs.

Ella is also a nurturer. When someone else is hurt or sad she is compassionate and comforting. Now, if she is the one who has done the hurting, that compassion is not as evident!

Thankfully she is a pretty good eater, but often it depends, as does everything, on her mood. For instance, nothing seems good when you decide that you want stuffed crust pizza!

I love my Ella and I can't believe she's five already. She is growing up right before my eyes. I pray most importantly that she continues to love Jesus and follow him and that her heart would be soft towards those in need around her.

Thanks for sticking with me as I bragged a bit - I'm a proud momma! :)