Monday, September 18, 2006

The List

Ok, so I've been meaning to put up a list of my confessions. These are confessions for the sake of making my self known and being vulnerable with my friends. Of course now that I sit down to type this I am really drawing a mental blank.

10. Most people would rather play online, read or watch tv rather than clean their house - I actually do.
9. This one is painful... I had a drawer FULL of wedding thank you notes that I wrote and addressed but never sent. There were also tons of pictures that were supposed to be mailed with the notes. They never got sent. I packed them in a garbage bag and threw them all away a year or so ago because I felt bad everytime I looked in the drawer. My wedding was seven years ago. It will be at least another seven years before I could let my mom know and pray that we could all have a good laugh over it...
8. If you read this you know this already, but I don't shower as much as I should. I would rather do other things with my time and deodorant works wonders.
7. I waste so much food because my fridge is too full and stuff gets hidden and then goes bad. I mean people are going hungry around the world I throw away whole packets of lettuce.
6. Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean alot of times) I don't want to be around Ella. I feel so guilty for it but she just whines so much and doesn't listen and is always fighting something. I love her so much but I don't always like her. I hate to put that out there because she is a beautiful child in so many ways but she is strong willed and stubborn and in a difficult stage.
5. I hate conflict so much that I will lie to avoid it. I don't know if it's the conflict that I hate as much as the potential outcome of the conflict (someone being mad at me or keeping things from me in the future).
4. I still get embarassed by my parents. Not often, but I occassionally get embarassed and act and feel like a teenager.
3. I am honestly insecure about my weight and how I look but I'm convinced that other people aren't because I think they look fine. Does that make sense? I can go on and on about the weight I need to lose and blah blah blah but when others do it I get annoyed because I can't figure out why would think that about themselves because they look good.
2. I do my weekly Bible Study half heartedly because sometimes I feel like it's busy work (lot of time spent looking up various verses, definitions, etc...) and I would rather just skip that and go to the applications...
1. I am envious of most people I know. I need to focus on being content in what God has given me and where He has put me but I often find myself dwelling on what is lacking in my life rather than giving thanks for how full it is. So I look at people that seem to have it better and easier (not just in a money sense) and want what they have.

Ok - so those weren't in any particular order and I really don' t know if I can publish this. I don't think there is anything that earth shattering but as I said before it's hard for me to be vulnerable. I hope you all still love me but I know that I can't worry about whether you do or don't (but I really hope you do :) - this honesty thing is the stuff of true friendships).

Over and out.....go Steelers!


chrissie k said...

Wow - do you know how many of those things I too struggle with?? All of 'em! I love you, sister-in-law. Let's talk soon.

BethK said...

wow, that took something to put that list together--i hope that it freed you!! i give you a lot of credit and definitely relate to many of them--the thank you note one cracked me up b/c while i can certainly relate to not sending certain wedding thank you's it was the part about telling your mom and praying you could laugh about it ;) that i really get!!!

thanks megan for all your honesty!

Anonymous said...

Hey Megs, it is great that you can post something like that....its would take a lot for me to do something like that. FYI. I think that you are gorgeous in every way...please take that seriously. im not just saying that to make you "feel good". I feel/see that God beautifully and wonderfully created you IN HIS IMAGE (personality and looks) AKA YOU ARE HOT! I LOVE YOU TONS and respect your HONESTY :) Luv ya Rach

Karen G. said...

did you know that all through college i envied you? i'm glad that the older we get, the more our eyes open up to reality. i love you, girl, and think of you often. thanks for your blog. it's something i look forward to everyday.

Cindy said...

the envy thing I can agree with. I tend to look around at everyone else and think they are so much better than me. I too watch TV and don't clean, satellite was great for options but I just find more to occupy my time instead of house work! I love you Meg and really am thankful that you share so honestly. Isn't the truth a beautifully ugly thing!

Erin said...

Thanks for sharing. I'm with you on a lot of them. M. and I were just talking about how we need to do a better job of using fresh food instead of letting it rot all the time. I think my biggest problem is I don't "plan" dinners and just buy somewhat random stuff at the grocery store... It's kind of hard to use that head of cabbage when you didn't have a plan for it!

Tasha (Tashi or Tash) said...

Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I believe God blesses honesty and sincerity in amazing ways. You are truly a blessing in my life and a wonderful and BEAUTIFUL woman and mother.
I love you no less but more for your honesty!!!

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