The List

Ok, so I've been meaning to put up a list of my confessions. These are confessions for the sake of making my self known and being vulnerable with my friends. Of course now that I sit down to type this I am really drawing a mental blank.

10. Most people would rather play online, read or watch tv rather than clean their house - I actually do.
9. This one is painful... I had a drawer FULL of wedding thank you notes that I wrote and addressed but never sent. There were also tons of pictures that were supposed to be mailed with the notes. They never got sent. I packed them in a garbage bag and threw them all away a year or so ago because I felt bad everytime I looked in the drawer. My wedding was seven years ago. It will be at least another seven years before I could let my mom know and pray that we could all have a good laugh over it...
8. If you read this you know this already, but I don't shower as much as I should. I would rather do other things with my time and deodorant works wonders.
7. I waste so much food because my fridge is too full and stuff gets hidden and then goes bad. I mean people are going hungry around the world I throw away whole packets of lettuce.
6. Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean alot of times) I don't want to be around Ella. I feel so guilty for it but she just whines so much and doesn't listen and is always fighting something. I love her so much but I don't always like her. I hate to put that out there because she is a beautiful child in so many ways but she is strong willed and stubborn and in a difficult stage.
5. I hate conflict so much that I will lie to avoid it. I don't know if it's the conflict that I hate as much as the potential outcome of the conflict (someone being mad at me or keeping things from me in the future).
4. I still get embarassed by my parents. Not often, but I occassionally get embarassed and act and feel like a teenager.
3. I am honestly insecure about my weight and how I look but I'm convinced that other people aren't because I think they look fine. Does that make sense? I can go on and on about the weight I need to lose and blah blah blah but when others do it I get annoyed because I can't figure out why would think that about themselves because they look good.
2. I do my weekly Bible Study half heartedly because sometimes I feel like it's busy work (lot of time spent looking up various verses, definitions, etc...) and I would rather just skip that and go to the applications...
1. I am envious of most people I know. I need to focus on being content in what God has given me and where He has put me but I often find myself dwelling on what is lacking in my life rather than giving thanks for how full it is. So I look at people that seem to have it better and easier (not just in a money sense) and want what they have.

Ok - so those weren't in any particular order and I really don' t know if I can publish this. I don't think there is anything that earth shattering but as I said before it's hard for me to be vulnerable. I hope you all still love me but I know that I can't worry about whether you do or don't (but I really hope you do :) - this honesty thing is the stuff of true friendships).

Over and out.....go Steelers!